We have a strong city whose walls are salvation,
Whose strength is Jehovah; the Lamb is the Light
In which walk the nations of all of the saved ones.
The gates of it shut not, for there is no night.
Three gates on the eastside, and three on the northside,
Three gates on the southside, and three on the west;
Yes, all those who wish to may enter that city
By casting their burdens on him who is rest.
But there shall in no wise be that which defiles it
To enter that city and bring it to shame.
For God has reserved them a place in that city,
Who trust him forever, believing his name.
We know he is faithful to do as he promised;
By faith, we believe in those things we have heard.
We live in that city possessing foundations
Whose builder and maker is none but the Word.
Tune?
Posted by: Valerie (Kyriosity) at setembro 26, 2003 7:54 PMWow! I've just scanned through your other songs/poems. There are a couple tongue-twisters and a couple too-far stretches for rhymes, but overall I'm impressed...and delighted to see someone writing this kind of verse!
Posted by: Valerie (Kyriosity) at setembro 26, 2003 8:17 PMI hadn't really thought of a tune; none of these were conceived as songs. If you'd like to use someone else's, though, anything in a 12.11.12.11 will do. The Trinity Hymnal lists "Kremser" and "Willow Grove." Or, since there are an even number of verses, a 12.11.12.11.D. -"Ash Grove" being the sole example. In any event, thanks both for the compliment and the criticism, which I shall take as constructive. I do try to update these when I can figure out how to lessen the tongue-twisters. They result because I try to stay within a pre-established meter. As to the far-stretched rhymes, you might be thinking of the one where I combine an abba rhyme scheme with dactylic hexameter. But these are intentional. The stretch between rhymes is too far only if poetry is conceived of strictly in aural terms. Many poems, however, are written as a visual medium, which is what I also try to do with my own.
Posted by: Kevin at setembro 26, 2003 11:17 PMDefinitely meant in a constructive sense. Overall I like your work very much! And while you may not have intended these as lyrics, many would work very well as hymns, I think.
By stretching for rhymes I meant more along the lines of creating somewhat awkward sentence structures for the sake of getting the rhyming word at the end.
I understand what you mean about the aural vs. visual. I'm the sort of person for whom words are almost always just aural. I subvocalize everything I read -- I think it all has to go through auditory processing in my brain after it goes through visual processing.
Posted by: Valerie (Kyriosity) at setembro 27, 2003 6:58 PMOkay, I guess I didn't understand what you meant. I've never considered that the sentence structure was all that affected by trying to get the words to rhyme. Not that I'm denying awkward sentence structures. It's just that my focus is primarily on the meter. Once I've made the sentences awkward enough to fit this criterion, there's not much more that a rhyme can do to it.
Posted by: Kevin at setembro 27, 2003 8:01 PM